Pursuit of Intimacy with the Lord

I've been struggling recently with intimacy with the Lord, hence why my blogs are fewer & farther between for the last month or so. I can't tell the future, but I have this feeling that the next few blogs are going to be my journey of pursuing intimacy with the Lord again.

Emmanuel . . . God with us. He is here with me, but I have made my relationship with the Lord more intellectual again. I think some of it is a protection against my own struggles. Being a counselor can sometimes be difficult when you are struggling personally. I tend to fight off the same emotions that I encourage the people I talk to to engage with, afraid that I won't be able to think clearly enough to help them. This isn't a terrible thing, as long as I engage those emotions later, but I get used to holding them down . . . and it becomes my practice. Before I know it, everything is intellectual again.

It is easier & less draining to not engage my suffering. I often don't allow the Lord to enter into my suffering with me. Instead, I just tell myself the truth. Telling myself the truth is critical, but I can't ignore the pain in the process.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4. If I don't mourn, then I can't be comforted by the Great Comforter, Emmanuel. So today, I'm going to try to allow the Lord to enter into my pain with me, bkz then I will be comforted with His great Love.