In Relationship

"You cannot produce trust just like you cannot 'do' humility.  It either is or is not.  Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.  Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me."  (line from the "Holy Spirit" in The Shack)

I find that I am always trying to be what God wants me to be . . . whatever that is.  I am trying to abide by the law and be holy.  I should act like this, and love like that, and go to this place, and do what I don't really want to do.  Honestly, selfishness is a lot more fun. 

I think I have it all backwards . . . not that I should go out and "live like hell", but I am a human being who doesn't "get" God.  I am so glad that I can't completely comprehend Him, bkz if I did, why would I want to worship or obey Him?  But the more I try to conjure up my holiness or devotion to the Lord, the more I fail miserably.  Have I become so foolish again, as the Galatians were?  Galatians 3:3: "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"  It all comes back to my self-sufficiency.  I can do it.  No actually, . . . I can't.  It starts here with humility and God-dependency not self-sufficiency.

I can't conjure up the fruit of the Spirit, they are characteristics or the results of being in the Spirit.  When I spend time with Him, I see the world more as He sees it.  Then I begin to see the fruit of the spirit in my life. I can't conjure up peace or love.  These only come as a result of abiding in the Lord.  It comes from developing intimacy with Him. 

So all of these things that I crave to have in my life come from relationship with Him.  How do I develop relationship with Him?  I have some pat answers I could give to myself, but obviously that would be depending on me again. 

So God, please teach me how to have intimacy with You.   Help me to run into Your arms like a child and trust You unconditionally . 

And friends, pray that God would teach us all how to have intimacy with Him.