Faith in 2010

What a year it has been.  God is constantly instructing the Israelites to remember in the Old Testament, and in many ways I want to just move on to 2011.  The two biggest and best things from 2010 was my job change & my second trip to China.  I'm very blessed in my new position, and I'm extremely grateful to God for opening the door for me to work in this new place.  It was also a joy to visit friends serving in China.  The gracious people of China taught me alot of things like being hospitable to foreigners.  For the most part, though, this year has been a year of status quo.

Spiritually, I feel like this year has been a waste, but I know it hasn't been.  I know that even though it seemed very dry and barren much like the picture of part of China above, God is using it to continue to teach me.  It is in these times that I learn perseverance.  I choose to believe what I know to be true, whether I feel it or not.  This is really difficult to do, but that is faith.  "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 (NASB)  God is so gracious and allows us to see many things that we do have faith in, but not always.  So I'm grateful for the year to build my faith, but . . .

I am very much looking forward to a new year to see what God has in store for this year. 

In Relationship

"You cannot produce trust just like you cannot 'do' humility.  It either is or is not.  Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.  Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me."  (line from the "Holy Spirit" in The Shack)

I find that I am always trying to be what God wants me to be . . . whatever that is.  I am trying to abide by the law and be holy.  I should act like this, and love like that, and go to this place, and do what I don't really want to do.  Honestly, selfishness is a lot more fun. 

I think I have it all backwards . . . not that I should go out and "live like hell", but I am a human being who doesn't "get" God.  I am so glad that I can't completely comprehend Him, bkz if I did, why would I want to worship or obey Him?  But the more I try to conjure up my holiness or devotion to the Lord, the more I fail miserably.  Have I become so foolish again, as the Galatians were?  Galatians 3:3: "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"  It all comes back to my self-sufficiency.  I can do it.  No actually, . . . I can't.  It starts here with humility and God-dependency not self-sufficiency.

I can't conjure up the fruit of the Spirit, they are characteristics or the results of being in the Spirit.  When I spend time with Him, I see the world more as He sees it.  Then I begin to see the fruit of the spirit in my life. I can't conjure up peace or love.  These only come as a result of abiding in the Lord.  It comes from developing intimacy with Him. 

So all of these things that I crave to have in my life come from relationship with Him.  How do I develop relationship with Him?  I have some pat answers I could give to myself, but obviously that would be depending on me again. 

So God, please teach me how to have intimacy with You.   Help me to run into Your arms like a child and trust You unconditionally . 

And friends, pray that God would teach us all how to have intimacy with Him. 

Does your Church look like this Bar?

So you know the theme song to Cheers?  It is unfortunate that this was the theme song to a show about a bar, but the interesting part is that the people at bars get community.  The church doesn't get community.  We should.  We have been commanded to live in community, but we don't do it well at all.  Greet one another.  Comfort one another. Forgive one another.  Build one another up.  Serve one another.  Encourage one another.  Meet with one another.  Be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another.  Receive one another. Love one another.  Show hospitality to one another.  Bear one another's burdens.  Pray for one another. Care for one another.  Minister to one another.  And many more.

We do these things when they are convenient, but is there any place where you feel like you can be real with someone about your struggles and the dirtiness of your life?  I'm hospitable, when it suits me.  But God you want them to come to my house?  Their kids destroy the place.  You want me to greet her?  She is so rude to me.  You want me to meet with him?  He is so socially awkward. 

Below are the full lyrics to the song, "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" by Gary Portnoy & Judy Hart Angelo.  Think about them.  Would you go to your church in these circumstances?  Is everyone glad you came?  I encourage you to be the initiator to making your church become more like this bar. 

Making your way in the world today

Takes everything you've got;

Taking a break from all your worries

Sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those nights when you've got no lights,

The check is in the mail;

And your little angel

Hung the cat up by it's tail;

And your third fiance didn't show;

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to be where you can see,

Our troubles are all the same;

You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;

The morning's looking bright;

And your shrink ran off to Europe,

And didn't even write;

And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to go where people know,

People are all the same;

You want to go where everybody knows your name.

 

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came...

Listen to the song online at this link:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEq5M1wA4hk&feature=related

Why God? Why?

As I go through life and talk to people in the counseling office, I often encounter the word "Why?"  On a side note, I find it interesting that people who don't even believe in God will ask "Why does God allow this?" Anyway, why does God allow His people to suffer?  Why do things happen that make absolutely no sense to us? 

I don't have all the answers for sure!  If I did, then I would be God, and we would all be in trouble! :)  But I've learned some things along the way . . . even this morning as I was asking God why He allows some of the things that He allows in my life. 

• First, and most importantly, we aren't God.  Therefore, we can't comprehend Him.  We can't always follow His line of thinking.  Romans 11:33-35 bring me great comfort here. 
• Secondly, sometimes I think I can follow His way of thinking.  Maybe it is when I'm intimate enough with Him that I can see things as He does, but I think it is more that He allows me in on some things to keep me from whining :) 
• Thirdly, it is about Him, not about me.  Everything is for His glory, and we should want our life to bring Him glory at all times.  (I Corinthians 10:31)  Do everything for His glory, even suffer.
• Finally, since we can't comprehend Him, it pushes us to do what being a believer is at its core . . . Trust.  We chose to have faith in Him, and when we don't rest in His will, we aren't trusting Him at all.  Trust the Papa . . . He knows what is best.  He doesn't want to hurt us.  He wants what is best for us.  Small children look at parents as if they are being betrayed when parents allow doctors to inject the child with a vaccine.  It is a small amount of pain to ward off greater pain.  Going to college for 8 years isn't pleasant, but the reward that comes from endurance is worth it.  There are alot of different directions to go here, but we can't see the other side.  He can.  So to avoid anxiety & stress . . . learn to trust that He has your best interest in mind.  I didn't say He has your comfort in mind; I said He has your best in mind.  (Romans 8:28). 

I have so many things I could say here, bkz life can be really painful at times; but trusting Him is so much more relaxing, and it is what He asks for. 

I'll end with the lyrics from Bring the Rain by Mercy Me:

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Holy, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

To Know the Power of His Resurrection

I often find myself impressed with myself.  Look at how well I behave.  Look at how "selfless" that action was.  I'm such a good person.  God must be glad to have me on His team!   I'm sure that God is just shaking His head in disappointment when I think these things. 

If anyone had the right to say that, it was Paul.  In Philippians 3:4-6, he talks about who he was, and it is an impressive resume in those days.  But in verse 7, he continues on:  "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.  More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, (I'll stop here--end of verse 9--momentarily, as I always feel like Paul spoke in run on sentences! :)). 

Paul was someone, as far as humans go, but even he said that he counts it all as loss for Christ's sake.  It is all worthless if you don't know Christ as Lord.  He wanted Christ so badly, that he would give up everything that made him who he was in order to be with Him.  Would you give up your car if it meant you would lose Christ?  Would you give up your job if it meant you would lose Christ?  Would you give up your family?  What is your most prized possession?  Would you give it up for Him?  This is a good rule of thumb to test where your heart is.  If it would be too much for you to give up your friends, children, job, car, life, etc for the sake of Christ, then you don't really want to know Him.  I had some friends that gave up their really good jobs and lives here in the US to go to China.  Even believers thought they were crazy bkz he was an attorney!  It didn't make sense . . . but He was calling them to go, and they don't regret it at all. 

Paul continues in verses 10-11 (NASB):  "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."  He would give it all up so he could know Christ and the power of His resurrection and even the fellowship of His sufferings.  He gave it all up, knowing that it wasn't going to be easy, but it was worth it all. 

I remember several years ago when this became real to me that I needed to know Him & the Power of His Resurrection.  Why was that so important?  The answer revolutionized my life.  I need to get back to that place.  Lord, please take me back to that place.

Gratitude

On Saturday evening, our normally very hot tap water got even hotter.  It was nearly boiling coming out of the tap.  I didn't think much about it until the next morning, when I was almost done my shower and realized the water wasn't very hot.  My poor husband had even less hot water.  By the time he was done his shower, there was no hot water.  Later that afternoon, there was still no hot water.  So Miles went downstairs and did a few things like flipped the breaker and reset the water heater, but to no avail.  We had no hot water. 

Miles was going to be gone all day the next day, and he wouldn't have an opportunity to look at the water heater until Tuesday.  I was frustrated, but knew that I had other options for the morning. It was so inconvenient to go to the gym before work though!  I prayed, "God, would you please fix our water heater?  We don't have the time or the money to deal with it this week." (not that there is ever a week that we have time or money to deal with it :)).

Monday morning we had no hot water, so I went to work out and get a hot shower at the gym.  I was grateful for that option.  I was reminded that every time something goes wrong with our house and I'm inconvenienced, I remember my friends who are serving overseas and don't have regular water or electricity.  I prayed for them a few times throughout the day.  I went to Target where the cashier politely responded to my "how was your day?" with the same question.  Well honestly the entire day was a bit ridiculous, but I just said, "Fine, except we don't have any hot water at our house."  But being reminded of my friends who live in a country that has more water per capita than anywhere else in the world, but they don't have the infrastructure to support it (meaning they often don't have water at all), I added, "But at least I have running water."  The cashier responded, "That is true.  What a good way to look at it."

So I went home trying to remember that I need to be more grateful then I am.  I look at our kitchen counters covered with dishes bkz we can't wash them, and I think, "What would Trichelle (one of our overseas friends) do?"  Well, she'd boil water to wash them in.  So I put the teapot on the stove.  I was rearranging the dishes, so I could create the most efficient environment for washing the dishes.  I got something on my finger, so I turned on the tap to wash it off out of habit.  THE WATER WAS HOT!!!  God fixed our water heater!  Thanks God!

As I reflected back on the previous day or so, I was reminded how I take things for granted, and how much less stressed I was when I just accepted my situation and did the best I could with it.  God doesn't always work that way, but I'm so grateful that He did.  He is the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17).

Security

I'm a security addict. I was raised that way. "Always have a back up plan." The problem with this philosophy, is that you can't control much. The more that you try to control, the more stressed out you become because things happen that no one can do anything about.

This month I've been rereading Who I am in Christ by Neil Anderson; probably my favorite book next to Scripture. If you haven't read it, you really need to. Actually, it comes from Victory Over the Darkness also by Neil Anderson, so you should read that first to get the full picture. Today I read about "I Am Secure." This chapter reminded me how much I try unsuccessfully to make my life secure. I need a job that pays more. Maybe I should sell this, and sell that, and purchase this or that. Maybe I should put my money here or there, or move here or there. It is quite stressful, especially when you can't get it to work like you think it should. And trust me . . . when God wants to remind you that He is in control not you, none of those things will work out.

Today, I'm going to move into my new office. I'm no longer a counselor by profession, and I'm quite excited about that. I will still be in the field of psychology though . . . a psychology teacher. I'm very excited to empty our home office of all of my work office stuff so I can clean both places! :) This transition keeps running through my mind as I'm contemplating my security. It is a tenured position if I choose to go that route. It is a pretty secure position as long as I don't do anything that breaks any serious rules in the next few years. How important is tenure though? Tenure is great, but I shouldn't put alot of stock into it bkz my security can't lay in my job. God is my security. I need to remember this always.

I hope that I can remember that for today, that will be the first victory. I have some short term memory problems when it comes to truth bkz Satan is always coming in distracting me from the truth. So today is the goal . . . God is my security, not my job, my husband, my health, my education . . . just God.