Testing Trust

"Shall I accept good from God and not adversity?" Job 2:10

I've had a lot of trials throughout my short life, but I'm finding that I deal much better with acute problems than chronic problems . . . meaning . . . I can handle the problems where something happens, its over, and then I adjust my life to it.  Like when my mom died.  One day she is there, the next she isn't.  There is nothing I could do to bring her back, so I adjust my life, and move on.  I'm not saying it was easy, but it was something that I had to keep working at.  I don't deal so well with the problems that are always present.  Like Miles' health, we are in a constant state of trying to figure out what is the source of his health problems.  If we had a diagnosis, then we could deal with the diagnosis, but living in a constant state of what is it?  How can we treat it?  When is he going to feel better? . . . is extremely stressful.  In all reality, you deal with both types of problems the same way . . . ask God for strength, live in the light of His promises, and adjust to your new normal.  But when I am constantly trying to solve the problem or fix it, I live in a constant state of discontent. 

So I'm a fixer . . . and when I can't fix it, I have to wait on the Lord.  I don't like it, not one little bit.  It should be easier and less stressful when I let the Lord take care of it.  There is no need to worry about anything, because whatever I am worrying about will be taken care of at the appropriate time.  It isn't on my time table though, and I can't deal with that.  It attacks my pride of self-sufficiency.  But that is exactly the point . . . I'm not self-sufficient . . . that is sin.  I need to be God sufficient, because he is all I need.  The day that I truly live out the promises that God's grace is sufficient for me, that He loves me, that when I am weak He is strong . . . that will be a beautiful day of rest and trust.

Maybe all He is trying to teach me is to trust Him. That is the heart of the Gospel anyway, right?

"When God tests you, it is a good time for you to test Him by putting His promises to the proof, and claiming from Him just as much as your trials have rendered necessary." (quoted from an excerpt of Streams in the Desert by A.B. Simpson)