Thursday, June 4, 2015

Adoption Journey, part 7: God is Sovereign & Merciful

So yesterday we had our first interview with the birth parents of twins.  It was nerve-wracking, but my wonderful husband who handles nerves so much better than I calmed me quickly in the interview.  I stumbled around at first . . . What do you say to a couple who knows that the best thing for their babies is to give them to another couple?  I'm humbled that they are considering us.  I respect them highly for making that kind of decision.

The couple was extremely level-headed, and it really was impressive to watch.  It wasn't your typical scenario.  They both had full time jobs, and they were 26 & 30 years of age.  They just are in a tough financial spot at the moment.   I can't imagine what kind of guts it took for them to come to this kind of decision.

We built great rapport with them.  We enjoyed our time with them.  We were ourselves because we aren't going to fake it and try to be who they want us to be.  We wanted to be real.  We wanted to show them love.  We could tell the father in particular needed alot of affirmation, and we both gave that to him.  We tried to show them the love of Christ.

When we left, we felt like it went so well that we were both a little excited.  I was trying to contain my immediate desire to plan.

We were almost home, when my phone rang with that familiar number.  I answered, and she said, "You did a great job in the interview, but they chose the other couple."  She was a little surprised since we had done such a good job at building rapport with them, but she guessed that the thing that had them choose the other couple was that the lady had been a nanny for 10 years.  I wanted to scream . . . "I've been caring for children since I was 10!  I've been an aunt since I was 5!  I should have told them that!  I knew it wouldn't matter at this point, just accept it and move on Liz."

disappointmentI was so disappointed, and yet so glad that we hadn't even gotten home yet.  I was ready to start planning, and yet knew I was going to have to refrain from doing so until we knew for sure.  I cried . . . tears of sadness and relief.  We were really unsure if twins were a good idea for us at this point in our lives, and I prayed specifically that God would have them choose the other couple if He didn't want us to have them.  God is so faithful and merciful.  He made the answer ABUNDANTLY clear, and He did it very quickly.

So many people have encouraged me to blog through this experience, and the response to my blogging and facebook posts has been overwhelming.  People have been encouraged by my postings and blogging, and we, in return, have been extremely encouraged by comments and prayers.

Pain is real.  It is part of life.  God grows us through each event in life.  The prayers of the Body helped me grow tremendously in trust this past week.  It helped prepare me for the answer of "They chose the other couple."

We know that there will be other opportunities, and whether we are chosen as the parents of these children or not . . . we know that God is sovereign.  When you have TRUTH like that to hold on to, life becomes much more bearable.

We chose to be very open about this process knowing that disappointment (and having to communicate that) is difficult.  We have watched so many couples struggle through this process in silence, and so we wanted to do this openly.  We hope that even in our struggle and disappointment that many will be encouraged.

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