Satisfaction

He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.  John Piper

This quote has intrigued me for years.  I liked it with my head, but as with so many aspects of Christianity and Scripture, it has difficulty making it into my heart.  The idea is great, but how does that happen. I had two conversations yesterday that helped shed some light on it for me.   

I was talking with my friend Lisa yesterday, and she was talking about two interesting passages of Scripture.  The first one:  James 5:11 "We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful." Even after living through difficult times, we can still say that He is merciful & compassionate.  And the second passage in conjunction with it is from Job, since the passage in James is making reference to Job: Job 42:5  "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees You;"  We both acknowledged that we knew the Lord pretty well before our unique trials, but as Job says here, "But now my eye sees You." We knew things with our heads, but now with our hearts, or "our eyes of faith" as she put it. 

The second conversation was with Miles.  I was just saying that I feel like God has taken me to new depths in relationship with Him. He asked "What has God taught you that makes you feel like that?" Strangely enough I wasn't exactly sure how to answer the question. He has given me peace like I've never experienced in the midst of trial (vs. after the trial when hindsight is 20/20). There is nothing like being at complete peace in the midst of seeming chaos. I have typically been able to see that after the trial, but not during the trial. But it is more than that . . . I trust Him. There are passages of Scripture that don't make "logical" sense, and yet, it doesn't matter to me. I know that He is in control. I know that He has a purpose. I know that His ways are far higher than my ways . . . Hence why He is God and not me :). Miles said, "Yes. As we grow, He shows us more of Him and not more of what to do!" That is the point of Christianity anyway . . . to know Him . . . to bring Him glory!

So I'm learning more and more of God, and less about what I am to be doing.  Christianity isn't about "maintaining" my salvation.  God did that; it is finished.  It is about Him.  I can rest because I trust Him implicity.  I can trust, because He has opened my eyes of faith.  It is a very satisfying place to be . . . and according to John Piper, it is where He is most glorified.  

2011

James 1: 2-3 Consider it all joy my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith proudces endurance.

This has been one of the most difficult years of my life, and I have no desire to relive it.  I can honestly say though, that I wouldn't trade what I've learned for the world.  At church, we have been studying James 1, and for the first time in many years, I've been going through a very difficult time while studying "Count it all joy . . . when you fall into various trials."  I remember thinking, "Are you kidding God? I know You see what we are going through.  You can't possibly want me to be joyful!" as I watched my dreams appear to go down the toilet. 

I learned that God seems to prepare people for His service in the wilderness.  Moses, John the Baptist, Jesus . . . they all spent time in the wilderness before they began their ministry.  2011 was my year in the wilderness.  I'm not sure if my time in the wilderness is over or not, but I know one thing . . . He is all that I need.  So when something difficult comes along, I want my response to be, "Okay God.  You are about to do something really cool, and I can't wait to see what it is.  Please give me the strength to see it through!"

I learned that life truly is about serving the Lord.  Nothing is more important.  My job, my health, my husband, my future . . . nothing.  God is all that matters.  Everything on this earth is temporary except what you accomplish for the Lord.  God hasn't given me all the things on this earth that I desire (as I made reference to earlier "watched my dreams appear to go down the toilet"), but I'm more than content with what He has given me . . . His joy which is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). 

I didn't have any choice except to delight myself in Him.  He didn't give me the earthly desires of my heart (at least not yet), but He has changed my desires to be what He desires.  That is where the joy and contentment come from.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

So as the sun sets on 2011 and I wait for the sun to rise on 2012, I look forward to what the Lord has in store next year. 

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY

James 1

We've been studying James 1 over the last few weeks, and I think this is the first time that I have been studying James 1 while going through a very difficult time.  It has been extremely challenging.  It is quite easy when things are going well to say, "Yes!  We need to have joy in the midst of trial!" and quite another thing to do it. 

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials. (James 1:2). Yes!  Another trial.  Woohoo!  Thanks God!  But the passage doesn't stop there.  . . . knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:3-4).  Focusing on the trial certainly doesn't bring joy at all, but focusing on the end result does.  Enduring trial helps us to be better people.  It makes us more like Christ, AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.  Focusing on how difficult things are will just depress us.  Focusing on how God is getting the glory by us rejoicing in the fact that He loves us enough to refine us and use us to show God's grace . . . that is worth rejoicing about. 

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.  (James 1:12) If you are persevering under significant trial, you are blessed!  Don't run away from God saying, "How dare You put me through this!"  Trial is a gift from Him; an opportunity to trust Him in a new way.  An opportunity to stop depending on yourself, and put all of yourself into His hands. 

Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures. (James 1:16-18).  Don't be deceived . . . God doesn't tempt you.  Everything that He sends you is good and perfect, even if you don't like it.  He doesn't change.  You can always trust that He will do what He says He will do.  He will never leave you.  He will always give you good gifts.  He will always love you.  He will always do what is for your best.  You can trust your life to Him.  What a relief when it seems like life is slamming you around like a ping pong ball!  You can trust all of your pain and your joys to Him.  He brought us forth by truth because we are His most prized possessions!  Trust Him. 

I skipped some verses throughout this passage so that this wouldn't get too long . . . but this whole chapter has just been convicting me and convicting me.  I have to trust Him with my life.  All the things going in on in my life that I don't like . . . they are gifts from Him to make me more like Him.  He has my best interest at heart.  It is all about Him and His glory . . . not me.  How blessed to know that God is giving me the chance to bring Him glory through my trial. 

Thanks God for the opportunity.  Increase my faith.  Help me to reflect You accurately!

Gratefulness

I have a new perspective on gratefulness this year.  It has been an extremely difficult few months, and I honestly felt like I had very little to be thankful for.  So when November began and I started listing the things I was grateful for each day on facebook, I very quickly ran out of things.  I knew that was unacceptable, and I knew focusing on the Lord will bring gratefulness.  I will have you know it works.  There were many days that I had a lot of difficulty coming up with something to be thankful for.  Like today,  I spent several hours in the ER with my husband last night into this morning.  They found nothing wrong, and yet the symptoms are continuing today.  He feels so badly that we are spending Thanksgiving at home by ourselves.  I am anxious watching him try to get his breathe, calm his racing heart down, and fight the nausea.  It is a bit depressing as we sit here, and yet, we have so very much to be thankful. We don't have health, we aren't surrounded by family, etc, etc . . . I can focus here, or I can focus on the Lord. 

Focusing on the Lord brings true joy, peace, and rest.  He is the only source.  As I look at the facts that He chose me, He loves me, He has our best in mind, He knows me better than I know myself, He heals, He provides, He gives strength and grace to sustain, etc.  James tells us to rejoice in difficulty because it will make us complete.  I have such a hard time being still, and allowing Him to be God.  I am always trying to fix things!  I don't have to!  Even if He chose to take one of us Home . . . that is Heaven!  Heaven is a perfect place without all of the sin and chaos of this broken and fallen world.  He has given us everything we need.  I need to always be looking solely on the face of Christ.  Everything else causes frustration and anxiety. 

God, help me to focus on your face today.  Help me to sing Your praises.  Help me to rest in Your promises.  Thank you for saving me and claiming me as one of Your own.   I'm a daughter of the King.

When Sinners Say "I Do"

So my nephew and his fiance asked Miles and I before they got married for marriage advice and some books.  We talked with them for awhile, and then they said that the best book they had read so far was When Sinners Say "I Do" by Dave Harvey.  They gave us a copy of it, and it sat on my shelf of "books to read" for about a year.  I really don't enjoy reading, but I always have high hopes that I will read more.  With my background in psychology, I've read a huge number of books about marriage, so I figured this was just going to be another one. 

Well, one day, I decided to pick it up and start reading. It was good from the start.  Why was it good?  Because it is biblical.  I have read so many books about all kinds of topics that try to integrate psychology and Scripture, but psychology usually takes precedence.  This book is biblical.  It doesn't allow people to make excuses. 

I'm not finished the book yet, but I just read a chapter about examining yourself in a conflict.
1.  In humility, suspect yourself first. 
2.  In integrity, inspect yourself.
3.  Admit that circumstances only reveal existing sin.
4.  Focus on undeserved grace, not unmet needs.

We must always humbly and honestly suspect that our sin is present, and it is playing a role in the conflict.  We are so quick to recognize our spouse's sin, but it takes a lot of humility and honesty to admit that we aren't being patient or we aren't being loving or we are being selfish, etc.  Our sin (being impatient, unloving, and selfish) is already present; the heat of the conflict magnifies them.

These four points are all so important, and ignored in our society.  Miles & I work hard at the first three. It was the last point that was most got my attention.  I see it so much.  Psychology encourages us to express our needs and be honest with people.  The biggest problem with this, is that we don't know the difference between our needs and our desires.  There is nothing wrong with wanting an affectionate touch from your spouse, and a godly spouse will try to do this.  However, it is a desire, not a need.  There is nothing wrong with wanting a kind word of encouragement, and a godly spouse will try to do this.  Again, it is a desire, not a need.  Instead of worrying about your "needs" that aren't being met, focus on giving grace . . . which by definition is undeserved and has been offered to you interminably. 
Have you read James?  
 ¹ What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.(James 4:1-2)
It is our desires that cause quarrels among us, not our needs. 

Have you read what Jesus teaches?   
²⁷ “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸ bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. ³⁰ Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.

   ³² “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. ³⁴ And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. ³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. (Luke 6:27-36)

 
Divorce is often based on "irreconcilable differences", but if you read this passage . . . you are going to have a difficult time convincing God of that.  He commands turning the other cheek if someone slaps you.  He commands giving to people who take from you.  He commands that you give to everyone who asks (even if you are constantly giving and not getting anything in return).  This is a difficult passage, but it would save a lot of marriages. 

So just some food for thought . . . are you inspecting yourself humbly and honestly?  Are you aware of your sin?  Are you extending grace to your spouse?

Testing Trust

"Shall I accept good from God and not adversity?" Job 2:10

I've had a lot of trials throughout my short life, but I'm finding that I deal much better with acute problems than chronic problems . . . meaning . . . I can handle the problems where something happens, its over, and then I adjust my life to it.  Like when my mom died.  One day she is there, the next she isn't.  There is nothing I could do to bring her back, so I adjust my life, and move on.  I'm not saying it was easy, but it was something that I had to keep working at.  I don't deal so well with the problems that are always present.  Like Miles' health, we are in a constant state of trying to figure out what is the source of his health problems.  If we had a diagnosis, then we could deal with the diagnosis, but living in a constant state of what is it?  How can we treat it?  When is he going to feel better? . . . is extremely stressful.  In all reality, you deal with both types of problems the same way . . . ask God for strength, live in the light of His promises, and adjust to your new normal.  But when I am constantly trying to solve the problem or fix it, I live in a constant state of discontent. 

So I'm a fixer . . . and when I can't fix it, I have to wait on the Lord.  I don't like it, not one little bit.  It should be easier and less stressful when I let the Lord take care of it.  There is no need to worry about anything, because whatever I am worrying about will be taken care of at the appropriate time.  It isn't on my time table though, and I can't deal with that.  It attacks my pride of self-sufficiency.  But that is exactly the point . . . I'm not self-sufficient . . . that is sin.  I need to be God sufficient, because he is all I need.  The day that I truly live out the promises that God's grace is sufficient for me, that He loves me, that when I am weak He is strong . . . that will be a beautiful day of rest and trust.

Maybe all He is trying to teach me is to trust Him. That is the heart of the Gospel anyway, right?

"When God tests you, it is a good time for you to test Him by putting His promises to the proof, and claiming from Him just as much as your trials have rendered necessary." (quoted from an excerpt of Streams in the Desert by A.B. Simpson)

Practicing the Presence of God

I've been reading The Practice of the Presence of God:  Brother Lawrence's Conversations and Letters.  It has been an excellent read and extremely challenging.  He was a cook in a monastery in the 1600s, and God taught Brother Lawrence how to practice His presence.  He realized that everything should be about God and loving Him, so he carried out every task with loving God in mind.  "Brother Lawrence emphasized that all physical and mental disciplines and exercises were useless, unless they served to arrive at the union with God by love. . . He found that the shortest way to go straight to God was by a continual exercise of love and doing all things for His sake." (http://www.practicegodspresence.com/brotherlawrence/practicegodspresence09.html) 

So I've been challenged to practice God's presence all day.   Brother Lawrence talks about the difficulties of doing so, especially starting out, but "Then, after a little care, we would find His love inwardly draw us to Him without any difficulty." (same source as above).  I ask you all to pray for me as I begin this journey (and I encourage you all to join me on this journey) as I learn to love God in washing dishes, doing class prep, shopping, interacting with people, driving my car, and everything else that I do in a day. 

Pray without ceasing.  I Thessalonians 5:17

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30