Thursday, June 4, 2015

Adoption Journey, part 7: God is Sovereign & Merciful

So yesterday we had our first interview with the birth parents of twins.  It was nerve-wracking, but my wonderful husband who handles nerves so much better than I calmed me quickly in the interview.  I stumbled around at first . . . What do you say to a couple who knows that the best thing for their babies is to give them to another couple?  I'm humbled that they are considering us.  I respect them highly for making that kind of decision.

The couple was extremely level-headed, and it really was impressive to watch.  It wasn't your typical scenario.  They both had full time jobs, and they were 26 & 30 years of age.  They just are in a tough financial spot at the moment.   I can't imagine what kind of guts it took for them to come to this kind of decision.

We built great rapport with them.  We enjoyed our time with them.  We were ourselves because we aren't going to fake it and try to be who they want us to be.  We wanted to be real.  We wanted to show them love.  We could tell the father in particular needed alot of affirmation, and we both gave that to him.  We tried to show them the love of Christ.

When we left, we felt like it went so well that we were both a little excited.  I was trying to contain my immediate desire to plan.

We were almost home, when my phone rang with that familiar number.  I answered, and she said, "You did a great job in the interview, but they chose the other couple."  She was a little surprised since we had done such a good job at building rapport with them, but she guessed that the thing that had them choose the other couple was that the lady had been a nanny for 10 years.  I wanted to scream . . . "I've been caring for children since I was 10!  I've been an aunt since I was 5!  I should have told them that!  I knew it wouldn't matter at this point, just accept it and move on Liz."

disappointmentI was so disappointed, and yet so glad that we hadn't even gotten home yet.  I was ready to start planning, and yet knew I was going to have to refrain from doing so until we knew for sure.  I cried . . . tears of sadness and relief.  We were really unsure if twins were a good idea for us at this point in our lives, and I prayed specifically that God would have them choose the other couple if He didn't want us to have them.  God is so faithful and merciful.  He made the answer ABUNDANTLY clear, and He did it very quickly.

So many people have encouraged me to blog through this experience, and the response to my blogging and facebook posts has been overwhelming.  People have been encouraged by my postings and blogging, and we, in return, have been extremely encouraged by comments and prayers.

Pain is real.  It is part of life.  God grows us through each event in life.  The prayers of the Body helped me grow tremendously in trust this past week.  It helped prepare me for the answer of "They chose the other couple."

We know that there will be other opportunities, and whether we are chosen as the parents of these children or not . . . we know that God is sovereign.  When you have TRUTH like that to hold on to, life becomes much more bearable.

We chose to be very open about this process knowing that disappointment (and having to communicate that) is difficult.  We have watched so many couples struggle through this process in silence, and so we wanted to do this openly.  We hope that even in our struggle and disappointment that many will be encouraged.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Adoption Journey, part 6: Watching God's sovereignty in the waiting

So we have been waiting for about 4 months for a baby.  The first few months were a little easier because I was busy at work, but once the summer started, I began to get a little more antsy.  I had read a book about a lady's experience with adoption called Peace in the Process by Kristin Hill. I was looking for ways to get ready without buying actual baby items.  So I purchased some kid friendly decor for the bathroom that the child would be using at Target, and made a plan to remove the wallpaper and paint this weekend.  

We were going to need a new car, so we did some shopping.  We did not want a car payment, because we haven't had one in years, but we knew we were going to have to bite the bullet because a car seat would not fit in my little Saturn.  Well after some research and shopping, we found a car (the one I had been eyeing for 2 years), and we found a good deal.  So we bought a new car on Monday, and by Wednesday, I had sold my faithful little Saturn, to a dear friend who has already been through the adoption process.  She left to go get a check, and in the thirty minutes while she was gone, my phone rang.  It was the adoption agency.  They never call me.  This must be the call . . .  my heart and mind started racing, Is this it?  Is this what I've been waiting for?  Or is it just something else?

When I said hello, I realized it was our caseworker, and she was happy.  She said that Miles & I and another couple had been selected by a birth couple to be interviewed as potential parents of their baby.  The caseworker said, "Are you interested?"  AM I INTERESTED!!?!?!?  YES!!!  She laughed and said, "There is one more thing you might want to know before you say yes."  I gulped.  Is the baby sick?  She said, "They are having twins."  I'm not sure what really happened next.  I almost dropped the phone.  I was completely overwhelmed.  Can we handle twins?  Is this a good idea? What should I do? I heard myself saying, "Yes, but let me call my husband first to be certain he is on the same page."  I asked how far along the mother was, and she said, "Well . . . she is scheduled to have a C-section on June 19."  Uh . . . that is 3 weeks away.  I told her I would call her back after I spoke with Miles.  When I called Miles, I told him everything I knew except the fact that the mother was having twins.  I said, "You should probably sit down.  There is one more thing that she told me.  She is having twins."  Miles' response was, "Well . . . I figured we would probably adopt more than one anyway!"   I called her back, and told her we were up for this, and she said she would call me in the morning with the interview time.

Who knew God would have the perfect car, at a good price, and my car would sell so quickly to a dear friend who knows this process oh so well.  She and her husband show back up at my house with the check, and I tell them about my phone call.  It was so nice to have them here just after the call came.  I had 4 people inquiring about that car, but God knew I needed her.  They prayed with me because I was completely overwhelmed.  One was going to be adjustment enough, but two?

Please pray with us as we have our interview with this couple on Wednesday.   Pray that the couple would choose the other couple if we aren't to have these children.  Pray for this couple, the other couple being interviewed, us, and those two babies . . . a boy and a girl.  Pray for wisdom and strength for all involved.  This is going to be an emotional and stressful process regardless of the outcome, but we are in awe of God's sovereignty!