The adoption front has been very dry. Some times we will have several opportunities that arise where babies may be adoptable in a matter of weeks, but this year has been VERY dry. We have considered using another agency, but the amount of paperwork, time, energy that takes to apply to any agency is a bit overwhelming when you are discouraged.
This morning I was reading from Brennan Manning's Souvenirs of Solitude. [I so enjoy Brennan Manning's writings. If you have never read anything by him, I highly encourage you to read something. Some of my favorites are: The Ragamuffin Gospel, Abba's Child, and Ruthless Trust.] I was feeling beat down spiritually, and he reminded me God's love of Israel, and their continued lack of trust in Him. I read Psalm 105 in conjunction with Manning's book, and read how God fought hard for His people. He loved them so much that He not only rescued His people, He destroyed those who fought against them. God loves us that much too! He sent His only son to leave Heaven to become a lowly human for 33 years, and then killed Him, so that we could spend eternity with Him. I want a child so much, and to think that God loved me so much that He killed His one and only child to show me how much He loved me . . . There are no words . . . only humble gratefulness.
Overall, as I look back, Miles health has had some slight improvement. Our house is beginning to see some changes as he is sometimes able to work on it. When you live with chronic illness, it is very discouraging. We added Cali (an adopted Chocolate Havanese off a kill list in Los Angeles) to our family. I had some wonderful friends who were very encouraging to me. I have a job that I love, even when it was very stressful. God provided much more than we anticipated with the adoption fundraising. I was hoping for $2000 on our 2nd auction, and God brought in $2448, plus 2 donations totaling $2250. One of those donations was from a total stranger who gave us $2000!! Who does all of that? God does. In the dark days of hopelessness, we can't see the big picture, which is why a new year often brings hope. We tend to look back on the big picture for a few minutes. When I do that this year, I am hopeful as the new year approaches.
As a new year begins tomorrow, I will probably begin the paperwork for a more expensive adoption agency, Bethany Christian Services. It is one of the more used agencies, so they get more babies than the one we are using. I stayed away because of the expense, but now we are only $5000 shy of what we need for that agency. Silly me for not having faith in a God Who is so Big! Thanks to all of you who continue to pray for us and support us in so many ways. You are part of the way that God brings hope in our lives.